How to Run Red Lights

I broke the law. It was an accident, but I still admit it. I ran a red light. It was 5:45 pm on a Monday. I was heading north on Westwood. I stopped at the limit line of the far left lane of about four at the intersection of Westwood and a street that will go unnamed. Let's just say that it rhymes with Wilshire. I was right next to the left hand turn lanes. I was running late and feeling really tired and I was not fully paying attention.

I glanced up and saw that the left hand turn arrow went green. I thought I that I saw the other lights also turn green simultaneously, signaling me to go through the intersection. So I stepped on the gas and went through. Halfway through this large intersection, I noticed that the left-hand turners on the other side were also in the middle of the intersection. Then they were honking at me. Then one gave me the one-fingered salute. I knew I had made a mistake. I was running a red light.

My stomach dropped out and I suddenly knew I was a fugitive. There are always street cops at this intersection during rush hours because the traffic is so heavy. I knew I would be pulled over, but I would not go down without a fight. I used my good decision making skills to consciously decide that I would try and get away as fast as possible to avoid being caught. Unfortunately, traffic was so heavy I didn't get very far before I had to slow with the traffic. I swerved, crossed all three lanes to the right hand side, then made a quick right, then another quick left, then another right, and another left. I was totally in a high speed chase! My heart was beating like crazy.

I pulled into the institute parking lot and heaved a huge sigh of relief. The cars in that lot are not viewable from the street. The pigs were combing the area looking for me. They had already deployed the helicopter. But they wouldn't find me. I had escaped!!

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I went back to the scene of the crime two days later just to gloat. Criminals do that, right? As I approached the same intersection, my pride converted to terror when I saw the sign.

Yeah. I had been caught. I didn't see the flash. But I felt certain I would get all $371 of a red-light ticket. Plus the points, and the traffic school. I hate traffic school. My stomach sank again, but it was mostly from anger.

That anger persisted as I searched the mail every day for the last two weeks, looking for my ticket. Until yesterday when in the mailbox I found, absolutely nothing! Behold the California Vehicle Code *1:

Automated Traffic Enforcement Systems: Notice to Appear
40518. (a) Whenever a written notice to appear has been issued by a peace officer or by a qualified employee of a law enforcement agency on a form approved by the Judicial Council for an alleged violation of Section 22451, or, based on an alleged violation of Section 21453, 21455, or 22101 recorded by an automated enforcement system pursuant to Section 21455.5 or 22451, and delivered by mail within 15 days of the alleged violation to the current address of the registered owner of the vehicle on file with the department, with a certificate of mailing obtained as evidence of service, an exact and legible duplicate copy of the notice when filed with the magistrate shall constitute a complaint to which the defendant may enter a plea.

In other words, since I didn't receive it within 15 days, I'M FREE!! What a wonderful technicality!

Maybe since I didn't see a flash, it didn't take the picture. It's likely that the type of red light I ran (where the left hand turners from both sides ARE in the intersection, but cars going straight have red lights) is not programmed into the contingencies of the computer camera systems. In that case, I have provided you all with a template for running red lights without fear of receiving photo-enforced tickets! Honestly, it was the kind of red that only numbskulls not paying attention could run. Who said that idiocy doesn't contribute to society?!?!

DanO

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*1 - http://www.dmv.ca.gov/pubs/vctop/d17/vc40518.htm